It’s been over a decade since I gave any thought to throwing myself under the bus. And it’s really been the power of God that has kept me on the straight and narrow all these years. But yesterday saw the dismantling of eleven years of God’s work in me on this matter. And today, it fills my every thought. It follows me everywhere like a shadow, like a scythe. God have mercy — I have no desire to stay on the curb. And the psalmist says ‘my soul thirsts for you / my flesh faints for you / Your steadfast love is better than life’.
